ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
