her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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