I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
