belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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