Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize