have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
