omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
