is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
