yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So many bounce houses so little time
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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