i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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