They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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