I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
