I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
worst night to have a conscience
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
