You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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