Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
