My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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