HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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