hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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