I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize