u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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