Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
