How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
