i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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