hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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