dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im holly from the hills drunk
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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