Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think my vagina is haunted
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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