i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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