i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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