Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Your penis caused this!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
