Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
