Sry I called you an 8
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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