You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Im part way to drunk.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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