question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize