Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
