Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
