That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
