Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Bring me that man meat
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
