Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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