so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
