I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
