lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
