how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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