did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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