Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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