I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
