Can Purell be used as lube?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
