I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
