Me. At least after what I've been through.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
