So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
