What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
try to milk me bitch
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
