When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
