That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you had me at cake vodka
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
do nipples grow back?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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