she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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