first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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