i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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