Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
