i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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