i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
