I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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