I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize