do herpes really smell.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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