You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
