he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize