Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
