Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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