I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
